In the beginning..& baby names

Is it too early for me to pick out baby names? Nah! We actually started picking out baby names the day after we decided we were ready to start trying. Ah it's time for me to share the moment that we decided we were ready.
So- It was October '10 and we had been watching John and Kate plus 8 for a couple of weeks. I think watching it was what really got the baby ball rolling. I've wanted kids ever since I can remember. In fact, if I could have gone to school to become a mom- that's what I would have done. I feel like I was born ready. Even when I was a kid and was sort through toys that I didn't want/need anymore - I kept a few bags of things that I wanted to give to my children when I had them. Anyway lol One day dh and I watched a movie called Babies - they basically just filmed the lives of 4 babies in different living situations. One was in Namibia, Mongolia, Japan, and California. I think there were very few words said in the film - it was completely focused on the babies and what they were doing and how they were living. Sometime during the movie - DH brought up us having a baby and we started talking and decided that we were ready to start trying! I stopped taking my bcp that night and we've been trying ever since.

As for baby names that I am fond of at the moment:
*Eivlyn (My favorite)
*Ava
*Bella
*Harvey
*Oliver
*Jude
I'm sure my list will continue to grow throughout this journey. God I cannot wait to become pregnant. Today is CD 7. I should O somewhere around CD 23-26 (As long as this cycle is somewhat similar to my last two.) So let's see that means..about April 22nd-30th we will really concentrate on BD'ing. I hope April is our month!

Allow me to introduce myself..

I'm A. "A" as in Anonymous. For now, and most likely the remainder of my blog I believe I shall stay anonymous for many reasons. One of my biggest reason's is that my husband and I are trying to have a baby. I am so proud to actually state that I am "trying to have a baby". It seems like most pregnancies anymore were unexpected. It may sound silly but i'm so happy to be one of the few actually trying to conceive. However we have decided not to share this information with our family and friends. I just don't want to be asked constantly about whether or not were pregnant yet. Truth is, we've been trying since October. It has been a little difficult, I never expected it would take us this long to try and conceive. But I am thankful that I haven't had parent's or in-laws or sibling's asking all sorts of questions or even worse, judging. But hey, it's April and I should ovulate sometime near the end of the month so let's hope this one sticks!

Hmm I should probably catch you up on the rest of my life as it currently stands. Let's see, I quit my job yesterday and it felt great. I'm a hair stylist. I love doing hair, but I hate working in the wrong environments. My first salon wasn't too bad, taught me the ropes at least. Unfortunately that shop shut down and I was forced to seek work elsewhere. My second shop had potential...keyword: had. The owner was a little...hm - crazy, unclean, and irresponsible. I mean - the lady reused her shampoo caps for crying out loud! Needless to say, that job ended fairly abruptly. And for my last and most recent job- well, it was like a chain salon wannabe. I had an ok amount of walk-ins, but I was only making $5 a cut - and well, that just wasn't cutting it. I was spending more money going to work than I was making. Plus, the inside looked like a cross between a funeral home and a nursing home. It most definitely wasn't living up to it's sporty name. So I quit, with no plan B in mind and I am ok with that. I'm tired of working jobs that make me unhappy so i'm going to step back and carefully plan my next move.

Oh, here's a fun fact - I'm currently withdrawing from an anxiety medication - cold turkey. I've been taking anxiety meds for idk about a year and a half now. Well, my health insurance ran out in September so I quit seeing my psychotherapist or whatever she was. So, my medication ran out and I was also out of refills. Turns out, they wont refill my medication until I come back in for an appointment. And of course, they are booked for like the next two months plus the company that I go through has been extremely rude and unhelpful about the situation. So, i've decided to hell with it and that I am no longer going to take my medication. Well, the withdrawal is totally kicking my ass. I am on day 4 or 5 of not having my meds.Well, i ran out over a week ago and went a few days without it then was given an emergency supply for 4 days, and now i'm off of it again. It's pretty horrible, I feel nauseous most of the time, all I want to do is sleep, my senses are a bit off which tends to cause feelings of panic once in a while, I get bouts of dizziness, and I can go from laughing about absolutely nothing to wanting to cry and tremble all within 2 minutes, my dreams are even being affected.  The pharmacy tech told me today that withdrawal symptoms would last 5-7 days...However, everything i've read online from actual people that have actually come off of the same drug have said it's more like 7 weeks...So either way, i'm in for one hellish ride.

One last thing before I go - i'm Buddhist. It's not really something that I state out of the blue, but it's important to know for possible future blogging reasons. I didn't grow up in a church or with any sort of religion for that matter. I did go to church for a period of time in my younger teenage years, but it just didn't feel right - at all. I've always naturally felt like I leaned into Buddhism. I finally started to read more into it recently and it just completely suits me and since then I have taken refuge in the Three Jewels.
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Well, that about sums me up for now. At least, it's a general basis of myself. I'm sure I could go on, and on, and on but there wouldn't be much since in my blog if I just came out and said everything at once. So, i'm going to do my best and space out everything on a possible daily basis. See you tomorrow,

A.